Back in the last century when I was still married, my dad bought us a Bunn coffee maker for Christmas one year. I loved it. It had a lifetime warranty and made the best coffee I’d ever tasted, just like the coffee you get in restaurants.
Then in 2000 it started leaking, and I came home from work one day to find the Bunn gone and a Black and Decker in its place. The idiot I had married had thrown out the expensive Bunn that had a lifetime warranty and made great coffee really fast and bought a Black and Decker that took three times as long to brew a pot of sub par coffee.
My dad was livid. I was pretty pissed, too. She threw away a Cadillac with a lifetime warranty for a Yugo.
It died three years later, a year after she left. My mom gave me a second pot she had.
Then in 2007 my elderly friend Ralph, a World War Two veteran, died. I wound up with most of his stuff, including his Bunn. It lasted until two years ago when both burners quit. Its warranty had expired with Ralph.
So I went to K-Mart and bought a Sunbeam. It made coffee as good as the Bunn, but took three times as long to brew. It lasted a year.
So I went to Walmart for a new coffee pot, and the only brand they had was Mister Coffee. It sucked as bad as the Black and Decker, and like the Sunbeam only lasted a year. I always set it up before bed so I only had to turn it on; I’m worthless without coffee. Two days ago when I got up the counter was wet. I turned the pot on and turned on the TV.
It didn’t make a whole pot, having sprung a leak. Yesterday all of the water had leaked out, so I didn’t fill it last night, just put the grounds in. This morning it started visibly leaking before I’d filled it.
After drinking the first cup I got out the computer and bought a Bunn from Amazon. It was expensive, and they no longer offer lifetime warranties, but it’s warranted for ten years.
And it makes excellent coffee really fast. It should be here Saturday, so tomorrow and Saturday I’ll have to pretend there’s no electricity and heat water on the stove and pour it through the grounds.
That is, after I microwave a cup of cold, leftover coffee. Otherwise I’d probably accidentally burn my house down.
The Best Music Ever RecordedLast year’s stories and articles
Share on Facebook
You can read or download my books for free here. No ads, no login, just free books.